Well This Is Hawkward.

based-kratos:

(via hazard--to--myself)

anarchogay:

nosez-moved:

im not a people pleaser anymore im a huge cunt now

me after setting one (1) boundary

(via spoken-not-written-deactivated2)

brucebocchi:

beetledrink:

beetledrink:

i forgot if i made a post about this here but the other day i was in a clients house and i kept passing this painting in the stairwell and i was like wow is that a hamster with kind of a human face pleading for its life… lets take a closer look…

ma’am… i beg of you… just a morsel of coochie…

(via sex-acts-in-caps-lock)

sodomymcscurvylegs:

punkrockhippiefromthefourties:

deacytits:

lucifers-ass-cheek:

this thread absolutely killed me

I’M FUCKING SCREAMING AND CRYING, OH MY GOD

One time I was so high that I got into bed and tried to put on my seatbelt

I’m dying!

(via sex-acts-in-caps-lock)

veggiedaddy:

crow: doing a silly little walk through the grass

me, in tears: fucking superb you funky little death omen

(via zackisontumblr)

drkkn:

me, drinking juice at 1pm: breakfast

me, eating a bag of chips at 4pm: lunch

me, eating a flour tortilla with nothing on it at 10pm: dinner

(via spoken-not-written-deactivated2)

iwilleatyourenglish:

iwilleatyourenglish:

my leopard gecko hasn’t eaten for over a week so i took him to the vet. vet said he’s extremely healthy and the reason he’s not eating is likely due to him entering breeding season early

i paid $97 to learn that my gecko won’t eat because he’s too fucking horny do anything

can you imagine someone handing you a burger and you being like “i can’t eat this i’m too fucking horny"

(via sex-acts-in-caps-lock)